Faucets and other deep things

I had to write a poem for school. So I wrote a poem. About not wanting to write a poem... is that even grammatically correct? Oh well, here it is. Prepare yourself, there's lots of deep questions ahead.

To be made to write a poem,
To be forced.
Where is the beauty in such an action,
Where is the soul?
Is there freedom of speech
In being told how to speak?
Can creativity to provoked to life,
Like a machine?
Is the soul just a faucet,
to be turned on or off?

Note: Our soul is the faucet and the world is a sink. Sometimes it gets filled with dirty dished and the drain gets clogged, but all you need is a little soap. And maybe one of those scrubby things. Oh, and one of those garbage disposal thingies, too. You should get one.

Things I learned in Washington D.C.

I know it's a little late seeing as I went to Washington a month ago, but whatever. You people have nothing better to do and I'm lazy. Enjoy.

1. Nine hours in the car is a v. long time.
2. Disturbing of the cherry blossoms is prohibited. We must be respectful of the cherry blossoms.
3. Your camera will always die just before you get to anything you really want a picture of.
4. Pedestrians do not have the right of way/beware of fast-moving tour buses.
5. There is alot of naked-ness going on in Washington architecture.
6. Your mother will not appreciate you taking a close-up picture of naked male statues. It was a joke, mom!
7. No matter how many times you try, the people in business suits will not smile back. This actually applies to pretty much everyone who lives in D.C.
8. Giant brass statues are very impressive when coupled with copious amounts of marble.
9. Washington D.C. is not a part of Virginia or Maryland. It is it's own district. Hence, District of Columbia. By the way, it was a random smiling short-wearing passer-by who told us this. It not a guy in a suit. Politicians really are useless.
10. Cafeteria food is gross, no matter what state, or district, you're in.
11. It is possible to fall asleep while standing.
12. Apparently, there is a Orthodox Jew Day at the Smithsonian in the end of April. So many frontlets...Actually, I'm just guessing that those curls that they wear are called that.
13. Abraham Lincoln looks kind of sad up there on his chair. Poor Abe.
14. If the most annoying kid in the group is left behind at the Smithsonian, no one will appreciate you're opinion that God is trying to tell you something/survival of the fittest.
15. If you tour guide has completely painted-on eyebrows, chances are you are in for a v. long slightly bizarre tour. Especially when said eyebrows are not the same shape.
16. If you want to be mocked behind your back, try to tell a bunch of teenager something intelligent that may better their lives.
17. Standing in a parking spot does not count as saving it. People will try to run you over.
18. Road trips can be fun. They can can also make you contemplate murder. And possibly suicide.
19. Virginia have very big malls.
20. Silence can be v. moving i.e. changing of the guards.
21. Everyone and their mom has a statue.
22. After walking all day, if someone says the bus got towed, resist the urge to laugh. They probably won't be joking.
23. If you leave your cell phone at one of the many security checks, the guards there will very helpfully call your mommy.
24. New Jersey traffic does not necessarily just apply to New Jersey. Ditto with New York.
25. Founding Fathers were v. smart. Most of the time.
26. I like using v. Makes me feel witty.

That last one I didn't actually learn in Washington. I learned it just now.

The Fish Story

I gots me a story. It's bout a fish dat was dis big!... No, but it is about a fish. So'z, I walking in some(thorn infested)woods(in a skirt and heels) with Myself(Aka my friend Katie G-no really, I'm not a skitzo) after school today and we seez this tree with this other tree all wrapped around it-like. It looked alot like a really big snake coiling around the tree. So we(Myself and I) started talking about how a snake could have happened to be turned into a tree. (For some misdeed, perhaps?) And somehow it was established that the tree snake had started out as a fish. And so I am bored enough to present the story of the tree snake-or fish-or whatever.

Once upon a time there was a wood and through that wood flowed a river and in that river swam a fish. Of all the fish in the river, he was the quickest and the most graceful. He knew he could swim faster, longer than any of his fellows and his heart swelled with pride. He was often cold and unkind to the slower, clumsier fish. Was he not the fastest? Was he not the most graceful of all the fish in that river? Why should he consent to talk to these fish that were lesser than he? One day as he was doing his fish-business, something above the surface of the water caught his eye. It was a beautiful bird perched in a branch overhanging the river. What magnificent feathers it had! And listen to the beautiful song it sung! The fish knew if he could but be such a bird all the other creatures of the wood would envy him and his heart burned with jealousy. This jealousy poisoned his heart and he began to sicken.
Be grateful for what you have, the other fish told him. If you are greedy for things you cannot have you will meet a sorry end, they said. But the fish closed his ears to their wisdom.
Now, the wood through which ran a river in which swam a fish was very old and accordingly there lived there a fairy who acted as the Woodland Guardian. (For in the old days it was a matter of course to have a Woodland Guardian for every woodland.) She was very kind and when she saw the fish’s misery she anxious to do her duty. She turned the fish into the form of the bird he so desired.
I am more beautiful than all the other creatures in the wood, sang the-bird-who-was-once-a-fish. See how all the other birds envy me! As he flew through the forest trilling his song, he spied a pile of seeds and berries and other things good for birds to eat. Don’t go there, said the little sparrow, it’s dangerous. The bird ignored the sparrow. What did a drab little bird like that know that he, the most beautiful bird in the entire wood, did not? But when he fluttered down to the seeds and berries laid out on the forest floor; SNAP! A cage closed around him like the jaws of death.
Oh, I shall die, he moaned, fluttering his bright wings in fear. If only I was strong, like a snake, I should break this cage and slither away. The Guardian heard his cries of fear and came to him.
Did you not ask me to change you into a bird? She asked.
Yes, moaned the bird, but if you do not change me, I shall die! The Guardian was moved with pity for the foolish little bird and granted him his second request.
But no more will I grant you these favors; you must now be content with yourself, said the Guardian and then she was gone.
The snake-who-was-once-a-bird broke the cage with his strong body and slithered away into the forest. He came upon a warm stone by the river.
What a miserable life I have, he said, I slither around all day, eating dirt. If only I was a fish again, fast and graceful! I was the most wonderful fish ever to swim that river. Again, the Guardian heard the snake and she was angry at his ungratefulness.
Have I not granted you favor after favor? She demanded. Whatever you asked, I gave you. First I gave you speed as a fish, but you wanted beauty. This too I gave you. And when your foolishness landed you in danger, you asked me to give you strength to escape. This you also received. But no more, now I give you none of these things! Instead, I curse you to forever to be neither swift nor beautiful nor strong. The Guardian’s angry words frightened the snake and seeking to escape, he coiled around a tree. But as the Guardian spoke, her words rose in volume until with a great noise, the snake-who-was-once-a-bird-who-was-once-a-fish began to change. His scales turned brown and rough like the bark of the tree he hugged and the powerful muscles of his body turned hard. In a moment he was a coiled vine, wrapped forever around the trunk of the tree beside the river. There he stood as a reminder to *listen to sparrows and don’t be mean to the other fish.

*Just kidding. I'm not really sure how to end it without being nauseatingly cliche. Any suggestions?

** This is a lie. I will in all probability most likely never finish this story.
Such is the way of procrastinating ne'er-do-wells such as myself.

Blabbity bla bla

Okay, I kind of lied in that last post. When I attempted to become a hermit very little, if any, hilarity ensued. You see, there aren't any caves located near me(believe me, I looked) so that option was out. And after my mother refused to deliver food to my room, which I'd chosen as the location for my hermitage, I quickly learned that it's very difficult to survive solely on oreo's and ice tea as rations. Especially when you run out of said rations. I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't experienced it myself, but take it from me, reader, it's the terrible truth. However, this was not the reason that I came out of my self-imposed exile. Nor was it the fact that I ran out of new books to read. Oh no, I have much more self-control and strength of character than that. No, it was because I realized that people had to be writing all those great books I like so maybe, just maybe, there was hope for humanity after all(since then I have realized my mistake). Yes, reader, it was in celebration of the good things in life that I left my hermitage behind me. For earl gray, batman, and trips to the library. So never forget blabblity bla bla... yeah, just insert something profound in there. I didn't really learn anything except my mother doesn't love me(on account of not delivering me food).